We’ve suffered
enough this season. So much so that The Lovely Reds needed several months in
rehab to gradually wean ourselves off the concoction of substances required to
help us sleep at night. Most of the time it worked but we still sometimes wake
up drenched in cold sweat, other nights trapped in a state of sleep paralysis
as Hazard creeps towards us, his abnormally large posterior edging ever closer
to our terrified face.
So much has
happened since our last post that it would be unwise to attempt to delve into
the minutiae of every game since the turn of the year, however what we will do
is have a brief look back at the last couple of games and crack straight on
with our unique assessment of the games to come.....gulp.
Firstly, Da F***
happened at Anfield? A game which promised so much given we comprehensively
outplayed this same side earlier in the season, turned into a bloodbath the
likes of which we are unlikely to see again for a long time. This game made the
drubbing at Eastlands look like a mild encounter with a particularly feisty
dominatrix, as opposed to the Gacy-esque destruction we experienced in
Liverpool.
Despite the
scoreline at the Emirates earlier this season, a comfortable 2-0 victory with
goals from S. Cazorla and the Welsh Jesus, the warning signs were there.
Even
then we were sloppy at times with possession on the halfway line when Arteta or Ramsey gave the ball away through
misplaced or under hit passes which immediately sent their attacking players
through. On the day it must be said we were fortunate not to concede at least
one goal, our eventual clean sheet put down to a combination of Sturridge’s
selfishness, Suarez’s inaccuracy and Mertescielny’s defensive stoutness. The
post-match image of an SAS shaped compartment in Mertescielny’s back pocket
was, we thought at the time a little unwarranted, however we were happy to
laugh and bask in the warm, buttery afterglow of a valuable three points
against a rejuvenated Liverpool side.
How we were made
to pay for similar grievances this time around. I cannot remember a more
sloppy, disinterested performance than last Sunday. By our evaluation only two
players looked remotely engaged(Wilshere and Őx), the others like
schoolchildren during the last week of summer term, lazily writing notes while
their eyes stare listlessly at the paper.
Perhaps they were
tired, players like Őzil understandably need time to acclimatise to the rigours
of the Premier League, whilst Wilshere and Arteta have only recently returned
from lengthy injury spells. But even if this was the case we now have enough
strength in depth in midfield options that this shouldn't be allowed to affect
our forward momentum.
We can’t have
been the only ones crying out for a first half substitution when the scoreline
was 3-0 and, although an almighty task, still surmountable. Rosicky has proven
himself to be dynamic and attacking yet with the forsight and stamina to
facilitate our version of the high-line pressing defence. In our humble
opinion, S. Cazorla should have made way for the Czech, whilst Őzil who was
clearly having a torrid time should have been taken off for either Purple Rain
(Podolski, Prince Poldi, Prince, ‘insert Prince reference’) or Serge Gnäbry.
Although you could argue that taking off both of our most talented, bandy
legged magicians could have limited our ability to unlock a fired-up Liverpool
defence, it can sometimes boil down to having the type of players who may not
be as technically gifted but have the stamina and positional awareness to do a
better all-round job especially when our defence was so hopelessly exposed.
This leads us
onto a pressing issue concerning our performances against other teams in the
top four this season. Considering Wenger has proven time and time again to be a
master of foresight (he summers with Himalayan monks every four years to
re-align his chi) why do we career head first into matches against other teams who have
proven themselves to be ruthless in attack.
What good is it taking on a team
like Manchester City, Liverpool or Manchester United in a game of ‘first one to ten wins’ when
their strike forces cost £15 billion, £32 trillion and £Roman Abramovich
respectively whilst our Generation Game conveyor belt slowly reveals Olivier
Giroud (who we actually really like and think has been outstanding for us at
times this season). It just doesn't work.
All this does is
place a huge amount of pressure on the midfield who in matches against a higher
level of opposition don’t have the time and space afforded by other teams. This
has been especially prescient given our only real box-to-box midfielder Aaron
Ramsey (hallelujahh, haaaallelluujaaaahh) is out of action. The others such as
S. Cazorla and Őzil are masters of finding space in the final third of the
pitch but can be found wanting in games where they are forced to build up play
from the halfway line.
In games where we
are successful a similar pattern emerges in our build up and it goes thusly: Szczesny to either Mertesacker or Koscielny who pull out wide, they pass to either Wilshere or Arteta whoever is free and deepest lying. They then pass it out to either Sagna or Gibbs who look to move up the line to one of our creative minxes.
They at this point
begin an intricate movement of backwards and forwards passes, out to the touchline and then back just inside,
left and right pulling the defence either way until the space is available to
drive into the box using Giroud as an outrageously handsome ping pong table,
setting a player free for a shot at goal from close range.
Our flair players
by this point have made their way into the opposition’s final third in
preparation to execute the intricate assault on the opposition’s goal.
When the
opposition is able enough to press our central midfielders and full backs we
are left wanting for options, our forward players are left isolated and too far
from our own goal to slow down the opposition’s counter attack. Like a
blackberry smartphone whose rollerball thingy is a wee bit broken our players
seem to jig from left to right unable to understand that the set routine isn't
working (I jst wnt 2 gt in2 my emails, y m I on photos L). The resultant hurried pass back to our
CM or CB is then cut out or the floundering player is dispossessed.
We conceded at least 4 goals between the Manchester
City and Liverpool games due to misplaced passes from full back positions to
central midfield or losing the ball on the halfway line due to a lack of
options. Our defence is only so good, but when completely exposed and playing a
high line we look utter pony at the back.
Looking ahead to
tonight’s match against Manchester United (looool) we must have a plan b if they
decide to go all out for the first half an hour and press us with an intensity
akin to City and Liverpool. We like to play an extremely fast, fluid version of
football but if we have to we must be prepared to build slowly and have less
possession if it means we keep more players in areas that can shield the back
four and prevent swift counter attacks.
Maybe the issue boils down to the physiotypes
we have playing in the middle of the park, but considering this is the team we
have for the rest of the season and that we are very much in the title race we
have to be more adaptable to get points against Chelsea, United and City in the
next two months.
We’re back baby
and boy does it feel good.
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